You Can’t Do Anything

Tonight I was thinking about my mom’s situation and how she’s leading a miserable life because of her mental/emotional state and because of her outlook. This is something that always makes me angry or sad when I think about it very much. And I was getting more and more frustrated thinking, There’s nothing I can do! Then I felt God saying to me “There is nothing you can do.” And the way he said it said so much more. He said, you are doing all you can do. Be at peace – you can’t do anything… But I can. And an utter sense peace washed over me. I was able to let go of wanting to fix it, of feeling like I have to fix it to save my mother’s life. Because I know that I can’t. Because I know that he can.

Then I thought of other areas where I have a similar feeling – being frustrated in my current job and wanting to move to the next step in my career, wanting to find the right girl who I can marry and start a family with. And I thought of those words again There is nothing you can do.

For my mom, all I can do is pray and trust God will take care of her. With my career, I’ll keep applying to jobs and networking and gaining more experience, but all I can really do is trust God to provide. With dating, I will keep going out and meeting people and even going on awkward dates sometimes, but all I can really do is trust that God will lead me to her.

I’ve always been a performer, thinking that I have to achieve certain things or be a certain way to be loved, to be lovable. And, tonight, God said No. You can’t do anything. Just trust me. So I’ll trust and I’ll pray and I’ll welcome the peace he gives me.